因為自小就被用類似的繩子綁住了。當時，它還不夠強壯。它試過但無法掙脫。隨著時間的推移，它學會不再嘗試。即使現在它有足夠的力量掙脫，它仍然不會嘗試。
幾個星期前，我們的一名學生說他肯定無法在下一次的拼字測驗中拿到12題中的8題。下課後，我們和他談了大約15分鐘，詢問他這樣認為的原因，並告訴他如何認真準備測驗。我們也幫助他了解出色的表現是未曾被看見的刻意練習和努力的結果。只要他努力，他可以得到8題。他認真對待了我們的建議，回家準備，在父母的幫助下每天練習了四天。結果呢？他在測驗中拿到了12題中的10題。
就像上面的大象一樣，學生對自己的信念——特別是他們是否具備成功所需的能力——決定了他們為自己設定的期望、接受任務的信心、面對任務的熱情、他們所取得的結果，以及他們的毅力。
• 她容易生氣，沒有耐心。
• 他害怕犯錯。
• 我不明白他腦子裡在想什麼？
• 他對期望有很低的標準。
• 她似乎不在乎…
• 我就是不明白，為什麼他不能…。
你曾經對你的孩子或學生想過這些事情嗎？你並不孤單。歡迎加入老師或家長的俱樂部。這些想法可能意味著你的學生或孩子受到某種信念的限制。只要這種信念沒有被改變，他們就無法真正解放自己。作為老師或家長，我們的任務不是否定、譴責或拋棄這種信念，而是透過以下方式：
(a) 問他們有關信念的問題，讓他們意識到還有其他選擇；
(b) 提供建立在不同信念基礎上的進步計劃；
(c) 協助他們實行新計劃，直到他們取得成功。
在這個過程中，最後一步 (d)至關重要，幫助孩子在他們曾經認為自己無法成功的地方取得成功，讓他們看到自己的潛力並更相信自己。
Because he was tied with a similar rope since he was smaller. And back then, he wasn’t strong enough. He tried and couldn’t break away. Over time, he learned not to try. And even now that he has the power to break free, he still wouldn’t try.
A couple of weeks ago, one of our students said that he was sure he would not be able to get 8 out of 12 at the next spelling quiz. After class, we talked to him for about 15 minutes about his reasons for believing so, and about how to diligently prepare for the quiz. We also helped him see that great performance is the result of unseen hours of intentional practice and hard work. He could score 8 if he were to put in the work. He took our advice to heart, went home, prepared, and with help from his parents practiced daily for four days. Result? He scored 10 out of 12 on the quiz.
Like the elephant above, what students believe of themselves – specially whether they have what it takes to succeed or not – serves as a control valve that determines the expectations that they set for themselves, the confidence they have taking on tasks, the level of enthusiasm with which they take on these tasks, the result they achieve, and their willingness to persevere.
• She gets angry easily. She has no patience.
• He’s afraid to make mistakes.
• I don’t understand what’s going on in his head?
• He has low standards of expectations.
• She just doesn’t care about….
• I just don’t understand, why can’t he ….?
Have you ever thought any of these things about your child or a student? You’re not alone. Welcome to the teacher’s or parents’ club. These thoughts may signal that your student or child is operating from a limiting belief. And as long as this belief is not dismantled, they will never break free. Our job as teachers or parents is a) to not to negate, condemn or dismiss the belief, but instead, b) to ask them questions about their belief so that they come to see that there is an alternative to what they believe in, c) to provide them with a plan forward that is rooted in the alternative belief, and d) to accompany them in implementing the new plan until they succeed. The last step (d) is the most critical part of the process. Helping kids succeed where they had believed they wouldn’t succeed allows them to see their own potential and believe more in themselves.
